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Sam Never Understood (Fanfic)

Title: Sam Never Understood

Fandom: Supernatural

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester

Pairings: none

Rating: PG

Word Count: 268

Warnings: none

A/N: Just a little drabble. Thanks to

engel82  for the beta. I've got more fic coming (lots and lots in process), but I've had my head burried in law school text books for the last month, so I'm just happy to have the time to post something! Cross-posted to sn_fic  and dean_sam.
Disclaimer: I own nothing and no money is being made, no copyright infringement intended! "Supernatural" and its characters are owned by Eric Kripke, Warner Brothers, the CW network, et al. This is fiction written entirely for entertainment purposes only. Not mine; don't sue, please. I repeat: not mine.

Summary: Sam never understood why Dean sold his soul, but to Dean that didn't really matter.

 

Sam never understood why Dean made the deal.

Not really. Sam was stronger, and he was more capable of moving on, of dealing; with life; with being alone. Sam would never believe him, but Dean knew. Sam didn’t know that for Dean, life without Sam was hell. Failing to save Sam, to save his life, was hell. Dean could have followed Sam, but Sam would have still been dead, and there would be no guarantees on where Dean would go, and he no matter where he went, Dean knew that he would not escape the failure of Sam’s death. What difference could it possibly make to Dean if his hell was on earth or in hell itself? Either way he failed; he lost; they won; and Dean’s whole life didn’t mean a thing. At least this way… Sam lived. Dean didn’t live, and Dean got a one year reprieve from hell—one year to feel everything, to see the fruits of his success, to know, to believe, and to comprehend the truth that the demons would never be able to take from him. He had won. And not even an eternity in hell could take that from him. He wished he could be there to watch the rest of Sam’s life, and he hoped that maybe someday Sam would understand. But even if he never knew anything of Sam’s existence beyond the moment his year was up, and even if Sam never forgave him and never understood, it was all worth it. And with that truth; they might own Dean’s soul, but no demon would ever own him.

Comments

( 22 comments — Leave a comment )
engel82
Dec. 16th, 2007 11:17 pm (UTC)
I love how you get Dean's mind, his torment and why he's willing to sacrifice so much for Sam.

Dean knew that he would not escape the failure of Sam’s death.

[..]they might own Dean’s soul, but no demon would ever own him.


My 2 favorite sentences in your drabble, I think they express Dean's core incredibly well.
paleogymnast
Dec. 17th, 2007 01:09 am (UTC)
Aw thanks engel! :D I'm very glad that you liked it and felt that I captured Dean at his core. Thanks for reading and giving me great suggestsions as always!!
starpixie16
Dec. 17th, 2007 12:33 am (UTC)
I loved this.

What difference could it possibly make to Dean if his hell was on earth or in hell itself?

That is the exact reason why Dean made the deal. The way he sees it, he had nothing to lose.

He wished he could be there to watch the rest of Sam’s life, and he hoped that maybe someday Sam would understand.

Aww, Dean...

they might own Dean’s soul, but no demon would ever own him.

Such a fantastic final line -- and knowing Dean's fighting spirit, also a perfectly fitting one. ;)
paleogymnast
Dec. 17th, 2007 01:11 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for reading and commenting! I'm glad you found the last line so fitting. :)
(Deleted comment)
paleogymnast
Dec. 17th, 2007 06:51 am (UTC)
Aw thanks belle!! You know I love Dean and really enjoy playing inside his head. I'm very glad you liked the little drabble! :D
ckll
Dec. 17th, 2007 06:34 am (UTC)
It was really deep and heartbreaking ♥
paleogymnast
Dec. 17th, 2007 06:51 am (UTC)
Thank you for reading and commenting! I'm very glad you liked it.
julsus
Dec. 17th, 2007 09:28 am (UTC)
Ohhh Paley....you always know how to get to me.

Very powerful.

xxx
paleogymnast
Dec. 17th, 2007 09:40 am (UTC)
Aw, Suze, glad you liked it!! :D Thanks so much for reading!!
bonbonschnecke
Dec. 17th, 2007 01:41 pm (UTC)
"...one year to feel everything, to see the fruits of his success, to know, to believe, and to comprehend the truth that the demons would never be able to take from him"

That is absolutely beautiful written.
paleogymnast
Dec. 17th, 2007 09:36 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for reading and commenting. :D
iamstealthyone
Dec. 17th, 2007 02:24 pm (UTC)
And with that truth; they might own Dean’s soul, but no demon would ever own him.

Oh, Dean.

Nicely done.
paleogymnast
Dec. 17th, 2007 09:37 pm (UTC)
Aw, thanks. And yeah, Dean just makes me go *sniff*... that's why I love writing him so much. He's all broken and hurty and well, one great big ball of angst.
lovetheguys
Dec. 17th, 2007 06:51 pm (UTC)
You put it brilliantly, and it's so very true! The sad part is, I can't see Sam living without Dean, either, when it comes down to the very end. Love, Robin
paleogymnast
Dec. 17th, 2007 09:39 pm (UTC)
You know, neither can I. I think very, very bad things will happen to Sam, or rather, he will do some very bad things, if he can't figure out how to get Dean out of his deal... and even then, just trying to figure that out might lead to some badness for Sam.

But in Dean's mind, Sam is strong enough, and I don't think Dean would even care if Sam wound up hating him, as long as Sam is alive, as far as Dean is concerned, he did the right thing.
lycaness
Dec. 19th, 2007 11:54 am (UTC)
God Pales, you did it again. You hit the nail on the head and really got inside Dean's mind. My heart clenched for them.
What difference could it possibly make to Dean if his hell was on earth or in hell itself? - My God, you just know Dean would think like that, I just wanna cry for him.
Did you write one of these from Sam's perspective or is my mind playing tricks on me? If you haven't I think you should. :D You're so good at these.
*hugs*
He had won. And not even an eternity in hell could take that from him. - that's the sort of thinking that'll keep his game face on. Love it.
I could carry on quoting the entire drabble LOL.
paleogymnast
Dec. 19th, 2007 08:07 pm (UTC)
I think you might be thinking of "Fates Worse than Death," which is from Sam's perspective--it's him thinking about how maybe he should never have tried to save Dean (back in "Faith") because somehow it seems to have put Dean on a far worse path. Is that what you were thinking of?

And yeah, of course Dean thinks that way. Poor, poor boy. He's so broken, but at least his logic is internally consistent. I'm really glad you liked it Lyca!!
lycaness
Dec. 19th, 2007 08:10 pm (UTC)
Ah yes, that could be it. It's hard to keep track of all the stuff I read and who it's by, for some reason I find it really hard with the short little stories, dunno why. :D
(Anonymous)
May. 8th, 2008 05:51 am (UTC)
well done
thats for sure, bro
paleogymnast
May. 8th, 2008 06:16 am (UTC)
Re: well done
Thanks so much for your comment and for reading!
anangelsdeath15
Jul. 7th, 2008 06:09 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry, I love Dean to death in all of his self-loathing and angst, but my God, sometimes I would just love to get five minutes with him (if he were real) to smack some sense into the man!
paleogymnast
Jul. 7th, 2008 09:32 pm (UTC)
Ahh, well as you said, that's what makes Dean so awesome! :)

I on the other hand would really like to get five minutes with Sam to smack some sense into HIM, because he's the one that's wholly unrational and has a personality that I just don't get (well, I do, but it's fairly alien to me) and so he drives me CRAZY. But of course, you gotta love 'em both!

Thank you for reading and commenting!! :D
( 22 comments — Leave a comment )

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